I’m not sure if was the creative energies floating around in the library, the very fattening but nonetheless delicious potato and cheese sandwich I had, the free red bull they gave me outside college or the fact that absolutely anything in this world is better than reading ‘Cry, my beloved country!’, but I went a little insane yesterday. Actually insane is quite an understatement. I was almost possessed. My brain was under attack. Under the attack of an army of the most unbelievable ideas. And the numbers…Good Lord! I’d faint if I’d even try to count them.
Usually when absurd ideas attack my mind, they make it a point to gain domain over the entire territory until they are sole rulers of my mind. Having enslaved me, they make sure that I can’t possibly focus on anything else in this world. And once they succeed in this mission of theirs, they make me so unbelievable jumpy and restless, that everything else is down the drain. So I bid farewell to ‘Cry my beloved country’ and made it my sole mission to disturb the other two who were sitting with me in that library on the pretext of ‘studying’, until they were so captivated by my thoughts that they abandoned their books as well.
Honestly speaking, I shouldn’t be given the sole responsibility of destroying the ‘studying’ atmosphere. It wasn’t I who started it. I think it was K’s very random comment. Or was it M? God knows. But as soon as it entered my mind its like my life has found a purpose! I know it’s kind of crazy to say it’s my purpose because life’s purpose goes much beyond that. But I’m only 18 and it’s the perfect thing for me to focus my creative energies on right now. As for ‘life’s purpose’ I have 50 odd years to figure that out. =P
I always use ‘it’s been my childhood dream’ in that sarcastic sense, when someone asks me to do something I would never want to. For the first time I’m actually going to use this term in a ‘non-sarcastic sense’. In a weird sort of way it actually is a silly childhood dream. After I took up BMM, I knew I had said goodbye to this little dream of mine forever. But now I think it’s going to find its way back into my life. And I’m extremely happy about it.
I love how I am extremely optimistic and believe that there is no light at the end of the tunnel because it is night and sun hasn’t risen yet. But when it comes to such things, being practical is far more sensible. I must prepare myself that something that has awoken such strong emotions in me today could prove to be possibly the stupidest and most unfeasible idea tomorrow. It could absolutely de-motivate me. If I take it too seriously, it could leave me broken.
So I’m just going to keep my fingers cross and hope that the unborn baby will soon turn into a full grown child. =D
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