Bewitched!

The New Blogs

2009-10-10T23:00:00.004+05:30

It's been about eighth months since I first started writing this blog and I have enjoyed every bit of it. Well it hasn't exactly been like a diary, where I have recorded every single detail of my life, significant or insignificant, but I have managed to share a lot. And that includes thoughts and experience I wouldn't be comfortable sharing with people who know me a little more than they should.
Which is why I couln't share my blog with a lot of people. And now I feel like I need to reach out to more people. Why should I deprive them of my beautiful writing? No. No. Nobody should be subjected to this form of torture. I'm commiting a crime against all of mankind. And I shan't do this anymore! So I have decided to start a new blog by the name Pink-Martiny.blogspot.com. For those of you who want to judge me for the spelling of martiny, martini wasn't available ok! And this lavender-aura nonsense is getting a little old! So Pink Martiny here I come :).
Hope to catch you guys there!

Invasion of the Dhokla Culture

2009-09-29T15:07:00.008+05:30

Sometimes I feel pretty smug about not being born a Gujju. No eating Dhoklas and patras everyday. No referring to snacks as 'snakes'. No living in joint families full of aunties who talk to each other in a pitch so high you'd think they were trying to communicate with people of the neighbouring building. No having relatives with names like 'Jeeee-tes" and 'Meee-tes'.

And while, I was riding on this high horse of mine, Destiny intervened to play dirty games with me. My building organised a Dandiya event . To my dismay I was not just forced, but threatened to attend it.

The only thing that kept me going was that I was going to get to wear my extra blingy bright pink churidar kurta, embellished with mirrors and sequins, with a crush dupatta to go with it. And of course wear dramatic Indian make up which I don't get to on a daily basis.

Now lets be honest, dandiya and garba are both beautiful dance forms, but do people living in this city really know them. As far as I have seen, people doing garba just jump in and out of a circle while moving their head simultaneously with the many tiers in their bodies. Dandiya is another monotonous process. Hitting the same sticks again and again in the same damn way. Yet it find so many takers.

Again if the guys at dandiya events are good looking, it is a good enough reason to go. but the place is usually filled with chashma-wearing, mamma's boys type Gujju boys. Or else there are no guys at all. Only shapeless uncles playing a version of Dandiya I wouldn't even call dandiya. Infact, a lot of them look like they're actually playing some sort of sword fight in order to get rid of their pent- up frustration.

Under these circumstances, I was forced to play with the aunties of the building. Mind you a lot of them were also indulging in the whole I-need-to-get-rid of my frustration game. Clearly not the best attitude to play with. I fad put on my best plastic smile and pretended like I was having sooo much fun, while I was secretly wishing I had worn an armour of some sort because I was so terrified someone would knock me right off.

I was trying to be positive by telling myself that this was a brilliant opportunity to exercise and tone my arms which I otherwise never do, among the various Tulsi-bens and Mani-bens, while I silently watched the values and principles I had embraced all my life slowly and steadily flow down the drain. Such is the tragedy of life!

Reading List

2009-09-29T11:25:00.003+05:30

I've been keeping my distance from books these days.
Don't want to many things distracting me while I'm studying.
Once I start reading something interesting, it's very hard to concentrate on anything else.
So after this long period of deprivation I'm going to need a lot of books to 'quench my thirst'. =P
Here's a list of books I want to read in Diwali.

The Devil and Miss Prym - Paulo Coelho
P.S. I Love You - Helen Schulman
The Prophet - Kahlil Gibran
Chasing Harry Winston - Lauren Weisberger
My God is A Woman - Noor Zaheer

If you guys have any interesting books in mind, feel free to recommend :)

Aaaaiiii Veeeee

2009-09-25T17:25:00.004+05:30

No that's not a marathi gaali! It's simply the exaggerated form form IV which is the short form of Industrial visit.
Our Iv was supposed to be in December. While it made me very happy to think that December is going to amazing, it depressed me because it was sooooooo far away. Now it's been pre-poned to November, so I have every reason to scream, shout and celebrate. Well I know it is too early to do that, but what the heck, I need an excuse to shut those books anyway. They keep staring back at me to remind me all the things I don't know. *Sigh* So I'm going to focus on happier things in life (read:IV) and make a list of all the things I want to do during the IV.

1. I want to get my coin scarf out and belly dance in the train. Don't judge me. I'm not an exhibitionist. Most of the time I look spastic when I belly dance in front of people. I get so fucking conscious you know. But I'm not going to this time. What the hell, I have always wanted to dance in a train, with gypsy clothes and gypsy music playing in the background. While I'm definitely not going to be able to fulfil the latter half of my fantasy(friends are not a fan of gypsy or Arabian music :P) I'm going to make the first half happen. :D

2. Get drunk properly. while I drink every now and then, I haven't tested my limits. I think it's the time. Besides, I'm dying to know what I'll blabber when I'm drunk!

3. 'Everyday is a Fashion show and the world is my Runway'. Stock up on more awesome clothes and make Rajasthan my runway. :P

4. Hit on some hot senior :) May be the one with a girly butt. (Pari I put this here, just so you could have a good laugh. Just so you know, I'm already going mad laughing).

5. Have lots of girlie gossip sessions. Everyday is going to be like a sleepover!

6. Shop! Shop! Shop! Frankly I'm going to need a separate blogpost to talk about this. But let me tell you in short. I want Rajasthani Jewellery! Anklets, Bracelets, armlets, earrings, bangles, necklaces, rings, EVERYTHING!

7. Last but not the least, have a blast and come back many awesome memories. :)

P.S. I'm really not into guy's with girlie butts. I promise!

Love and when it dies.

2009-09-18T22:32:00.009+05:30

What is about love?
I think you've probably read a hundred blog posts about that. About what love is and what it does to people.
But what I really want to know is, is there ever a full stop?

Not all love stories have happy endings.
Sometimes it is societal pressure. Sometimes distance gets in the way. Sometimes it is just one sided.
And then there are people who say 'but we fell out of love'?

Now I may not have much experience in relationship field, but that doesn't make me alien to the feeling of love.
I think it's emotion in it's purest form.
I could feel it for my mother who brought me up or the sweet lady who offered me a seat in the bus.

When you are in a relationship, love of course takes a whole new meaning.
Attraction comes into the picture.
And when a relationship is over, it is this feeling of attraction that exits.
Love however is eternal.

Nobody wakes up and says, "Mom, I don't think I love you anymore."
The how can you suddenly stop loving somebody who has been such an important part of your life, even for that little while.
I refuse to believe in the sort of love that dies after attraction does.
Infact, I'd go on to saying it is not love at all.
Just an illusion of love.

Shopping List for the month Sept'09

2009-09-17T13:54:00.004+05:30

black pumps
pink pumps
golden high waist belt
black formal belt
pink high waist belt
thick rusted golden bangles
long beaded chains
More nail colours!
flip flops
coloured leggings
leggings with stars on them
loads of plain coloured vests
a charm necklace
loads of plain coloured long tees for the leggings
Mini dresses again for the leggings
black shorts
a ruffled yellow top
Anything in hot pink :)
new pair of skinny jeans
and finally a big box of cookies as a reward for all my hard work :)

About a Short Story

2009-09-13T13:53:00.002+05:30

Since I haven't blogged in about four weeks, I am trying very hard to make for it today.
Well reason being.....I plan to start studying tomorrow. *tries to control her laughter*
Every time before the exams start, I find myself wondering why I didn't start studying earlier. But I still never manage to wake up in time.
Even if I do manage to start off in time, the days that follow are full of distractions.
*sigh* Complications of a student life!

So anyway, I have spoken enough about why I'm utterly useless.
Now let's move on to the better things in my life.
We had a Creative Writing project.
We were supposed to write a short story on any topic according to a certain framework.

Now while I knew I was capable of writing poems and articles and rant on and on about absolutely nothing, I believed that writing a short story was not my cup of tea.
However since I was feeling quite useless this semester, I decided to give it a shot.

I managed not only to write a story, but one that was 3500 words, which I got down to 3200 words eventually and crossed 2500 mark by 700 words!! =)
Three Cheers for me!
And all those of you who think I must have added a lot of unnecessary drama to increase the words, you're absolutely wrong!
Well I must say, I did have to suppress the irresistible urge to add unnecessary drama here and there but all in all I think I'm quite happy with the final product.
Never mind that two months later when I read it again, I'm going to roll my eyes till they fall out of my socket.

So now that I have 'established' myself as a story writer and all that, I'm going to pretend like there are a lot of people who are interested in the story behind my story.
Guys, the truth is there are stories inside everyone of us. School stories, college stories, work stories, love stories, neighbours' stories, eavesdropping stories.
Sometimes you write about these stories and sometimes you take a little from real life and add fiction to it, new dimensions, new possibilities and you have a brand new story.
So that's what I did.
There was a story inside of me for a long time and I always wondered what it would be like if things weren't actually the way they were.
based on that, I created my story.
10% real life and 90% fiction. :D

Yes yes you can stand and applaud now ;p

P.S. I'll put the story up in a while. Adios! :)

Dear Photoshop

2009-09-12T23:23:00.005+05:30

Dear Photoshop,

I used to think guys were the most complicated things on this earth. Dating one girl while flirting with a hundred others, playing video games so intently that they forget to pee, staring at clothed women and taking mental pictures of them without any of those clothes. But clearly you are posing them such tough competition.

The one thing about guys is that atleast they have a game plan. If it's not completing the GTA mission, it is getting into a girl's pants. And if it's not any of the above, it is definitely eating. Eating like one who has been starved for over a month now. Every time they act strangely, you can attribute their strange behavior to any of these three things. Once you have got that figured you can have them eating out of your palms.

As for you, forget trying to understand your game plan, I can't even remember the purpose of your tools. I have no idea how to use you, how to get you to do the things I want you to or how to manipulate you. I know people go on an about how you are one of the best editing software ever created, but in my opinion they are probably just really ugly people and like you for the simple fact that you atleast made their virtual image somewhat decent.

But when I tried doing that, I ended up looking like a disfigured person suffering from leukoderma. So you have not only manages to perplex me to an unimaginable extent but also made my virtual image look pathetic. You know I used to think I was pretty smart until you came along. For one I could dissect male behavior, I could give relationship advice, take less that three seconds to figure what if top A matches with skirt B, get okayish grades, submit decent project. I even figured how to use Facebook, Twitter, Microsoft word and PowerPoint.

And then you came along to turn my life upside down. My self confidence went down to ground zero. Hell may be even the parking lot! And I just don't see it coming up from there. =(

Independence Day

2009-08-15T20:33:00.003+05:30

Patriotic songs.
The hoisting of the tri-colour flag.
Feelings of joy, pride and oneness.
In the midst of all this I find myself pretty lost.

Call me unpatriotic, Independence day is something I really cannot relate to.
I think it has something to with being born post-Independence.
I don't really know the true meaning of being ruled by ruthless foreigners, while watching them take over the land of your ancestors.
And then finally watching them return it to you along with the priceless gift of freedom, while they surrender, defeated.

But the truth is I don't think that I have really experienced Freedom.
Everytime I use Public transport, I wonder if I'll reach home safely?
Everytime I step I out of the house I wonder if I am dressed inappropriately. No matter Whatever I wear the perverts will not stop leching or passing explicit comments at my expense.
And when it comes to protection, I really wonder if it's safe enough to approach any of the cops. Remember the girl who got raped by a policeman in Marine Drive?
Everytime I step into mall, I know I'm taking a risk. In this city anything can happen anytime.
What about when the elections are coming? You never know when a politician decides to start a communal riot.

May be we are Independent from foreign rule. But are we independent and free in the true sense?

2009-08-14T21:03:00.000+05:30

Ha! So much for projects.
The second I found out College doesn't start until Thursday, I kissed good-bye to the computer screen, curled under my blanket and let the fascinating world of Books take me away.
I was stuck with The Da Vinci Code for over a month.
I know it's supposed to be a great book and all that, but somewhere in the middle I just got lost.
After that it was a real drag!
I just couldn't get myself to finish it.
I used be such a book freak.
And over the summer I read really shady books like The God of Small Things and some sad chic-lit novel.
So basically after a very book-dragging Summer I got stuck with Da Vinci.
I was starting to get really paranoid.
Was the computer really taking over my life?
Had it replaced the love I once had for the sacred pages of knowledge bound together to create something magical? :P
As it ends up, it really was the fault of the books.
Now I'm reading Desert Royal.
It's the third book to the Princess series.
They are two of my favourite books and I read them a long time ago.
It sort of comforting to go back to one of your favorite books and relive the moments.
The book is about the life of Saudi princess, Sultana, and the state of affairs from her eyes.
While most Saudi women have either resigned to their faith or believe that this is the life God has chosen for them, Sultana's rebellion against injustice inflicted upon women and hypocrisy of their culture, comes as a refreshing change.
It's a must read for those who are deeply concerned by the brutality of this world on the fairer sex.
Well that's all I have to say.
Tata for now :)

2009-08-13T12:28:00.000+05:30

Wow! An off after so many days!
I come home so late everyday that I am too tired mentally to get any work done :(
I feel so uninspired.
First semester, I managed to complete all my projects on time.
Second semester, I was a little lazy.
But I managed to complete the projects anyway!!!
This Semester it's so hard to concentrate!
Its not as if too many things are going on or anything, but I just can seem to focus the way I used to.

As for my Blog, I haven't been updating it because I have gotten into the habit of Diary-writing again.
It's so hard to maintain both simultaneously.
You almost always ignore one of them.
Back in School I used to be a Diary freak.
Every incident, significant or insignificant found it's place in my Diary.
Believe it or not, I used to buy a new one every 3 months.
Well I am not that crazy anymore, but I think it's good to maintain a record of random everyday incidents, thoughts and feelings. They teach you so much about yourself and life in general.

But I still haven't spoken about the best thing that's happened.
Well, I finally decided it's time to seriously think over that Fashion line idea and I'm going to go ahead with it. =D
I still don't know how feasible the idea is and whether I am going to make any money out of it.
But if nothing works out, atleast I'll be left with all the nice little outfits that I make!

P.S. The red Balloon-pencil skirt with suspenders is coming from the tailor today. Can't wait! :D :P

2009-07-26T23:17:00.000+05:30

Dear I-don't-want-to-like-you-anymore,

Sometimes I wonder why I obsess over you.Is it really worth it? Are you really that worth it?

I'm not someone who brags about myself, but I know one thing for sure. I've been a good friend. A damn good one. There were times I just wanted to give up on you. But I never bloody did. I was there for you more than you were ever there for me, without holding onto to any expectations or hoping that someday you'd look out for me in the same way as I did. It was enough for me to know that you were a part of my life and would forever continue to be. Yet I had to watch you slip away, like all that we ever built was but an illusion.

But may be this is what I deserve for caring more than I should have. May be this is just what I deserve for caring about the sort of people who cant love or care about you back. But should I really be crying over you? After all, losing out on someone who hardly cares is not a loss at all. The truth is, you are the one who is losing out on someone. May be you assumed I would always be there because I never let you realise what it is like when someone who means a lot disappears at random intervals from your life. Or the feeling of waking up and wondering if may be today that someone will finally come back.

I know how peep into you soul and wonder why the emptiness, the hollow happiness, keep resurfacing every now and then. May be if you learned to value the people who really look out for you, you wouldn't have to drown out the bereft silences with the voices of people who mean nothing at all. So I have finally decided that the only way to make you value my presence is by letting you taste what my absence feels like.

You know as hard as it is for me to step out right now, I know I'll find my happiness someday. But you will come back home after every fantastic party and in the lonely silence of your home you'll wonder, why the feeling of satisfaction does linger. The empty hole will speak again. It will yearn to be comforted by the company of someone who cares. But dear friend I wont be there. This time I really wont be there.

Things I want to change about my life

2009-07-20T20:44:00.000+05:30

Sometimes I feel like I'm watching my life float past me like a mute spectator. There is so much I want to do. So many things I want to achieve. I hate how I'm not motivated enough to go get them.

Sometimes I feel I'm letting people get ahead of me. It's not like I'm competing. It's just that, when other people of your age are achieving much more than you are, sitting aimlessly in front of tour computer screen, you feel bad about yourself. They're not even half as good as you are!

I want to be able to stop caring about people who don't care about me. Person to be specific.

I want to be able to dedicate myself wholely and solely to things I'm passionate about. Firstly they bring immense happiness. Secondly, they bring so much meaning into your life. Thirdly, they make you forget all things you want to. (Triple action formula :P)

I want to know where I am going and the right way to get there.

I want to be stop dissecting conversations and events. If I continue this excercise, I think I'll go senile by 35 itself.

I want to be able to remain in 'switch-on' mode, rather than 'switch-off' mode.

I want to be less affected by negativity around me.

Infact, I want to be a happier and more positive person myself.

2009-07-11T21:02:00.000+05:30

Dear D,

I'm really sorry you don't like the Girl in the Mirror. I'm sorry for the times you look at your wrestler arms and realise it's only fat that make them this round. I'm really sorry you have such a hard time breathing in those body hugging, I mean body-squeezing/life taking dresses you wear everytime you go clubbing so you can look half as good as we do.

But the truth my love is that no matter what you do, you'll never look half as good as me. No matter how hard you try, people well never like you as much as they like me. The quality is called Genuineness, you bitch!, Nobody likes Plastic! No matter how many times you hug a person, you'll always be a fake-bitch! So what if a few people fall for your old tricks, they'll figure out eventually! Just like I did!

I'm really sorry guys are not into, except the desperate ones, or the ugly ones, or the ones who say bast-uf-lurk before an exam. Never mind that even they get bored of you after a while.

I'm sorry you have to try so hard to keep the girlfriends also. As soon as they who you really are, they want to run for their lives.

I'm so sorry for all the times you've tried to understand the intent conversations I have with other people and failed miserably. IQ is just one of those things you cant do much about. just like that tiny miserable height of yours.

I'm sorry I have stooped down to this level. But really, haven't you wrecked my life enough already?

Bandra and the New Haircut

2009-07-10T10:16:00.001+05:30

I was tired of being the girl with miserable, unshapely, long hair.
I still wanted the long part, but the first two HAD to go!

I've never really been a big fan of fancy salons.

Blame it on the Chindi-ness if you must, but if I can get a really good haircut for half the price, what's the point of over-indulging.

There's something about Bandra you know.
It's very much a part of Bombay and still more different than any other place in this city.
More than the place itself, I think it's the people who create the awe-inspiring Culture that distinguishes them from the rest of the city.
I think the best way to describe the place would be to call it 'The Style Capital of Bombay'.

So when I decided I want my hair to look too-funky-for-it's-roots(yes I just made the phrase up), I obviously couldn't think of a better place to go to.
So I sit in the train and make my way to Fashion Capital with a smile of my face and a million dreams in my eyes (When will I learn to be less dramatic? WHEN?).
Then I take an auto to Mad-O-What(Wont tell you the getting lost in Bandra part AGAIN), and fall in love with the place even before I actually step into.

From the psychedelic interiors to fashionably dressed staff, the gay hairdresser who kept calling me 'babes' and the glass of a brownish-golden liquid which was actually not beer, but steriliser, I fell in love with everything .

I do however have sneaking suspicion it has to do with it's location more than anything else.
Infact, I'm so in love with the location and it's culture that I want to move there.
Since, that's not happening, the least I can do is spend more time there and imbibe some of the Bandra-ness in me.

I'm looking at my closet and I get this sad feeling that I'm not even half way there.
So many plain looking tees, such few earrings, KURTAS(!!), more flip-flops than ballerinas, such few skirts and barely any dresses.
*Sigh* I feel like I've lost myself.
None of it goes with the new hairstyle.
But I feel inspired now.
A makeover is definitely on it's way. =)

The Truth about Guys(part 1)

2009-07-09T22:48:00.000+05:30

The sad looking guy you kept saying no to will suddenly transform into the Prince.
Then you will look at all the nice looking girls surrounding him in his profile picture and feel bad about yourself. Very bad.
Guys are into you as long as you are not into them.
They're like Cavemen(Courtesy E). They randomly disappear for days and come back pretending like nothing has happened.
They're so bloody good at emotional blackmail.
If it were upto them, they'd get it on anywhere, even in the middle of the road.
They think leggings are tight pants with socks attached!
They think they're so hot they'd gave John Abraham a run for his money.
They also believe every girl on this planet is into them. Oh and by the way, this doesn't generally include the girl who is.
Once they get their hands on the X-box/ Playstation, they forget about everything else, including that irresistible urge to pee.

Abracadabra!

2009-06-30T16:17:00.000+05:30

Just today I was thinking about how much I need to change the name of the my Blog from "Flights of Fantasy", to something else. I had a few options in my mind. None of them fit. Some sounded good, but signified a very small aspect of my life. Others seemed brilliant, but did not signify even a part of my life.

Here I am sitting in front of my PC reading up the meaning of The Chariot, which is one of the Major Arcana cards of the Tarot Deck as it appeared in my reading today. And it inspired me to name my blog what i just have.

I'm a firm believer in The law of Attraction. When you want something bad enough, the Universe will conspire in your favour. But somewhere along the line, the faith i had in my own will and energy decreased. I aspired to achieve a lot more than what I actually got. And somehow the emptiness of life, the lack of purpose and loss of direction got to me. Need I explain any further, the reason behind my lost Faith?

But the few pleasures that I have been pursuing for a long time now are slowly and steadily making their way back into my life. The energy I sent out, is finding it's way. i have seen miracles in life, but this is by far the biggest.

Now getting back toThe Chariot, it is a card with immense power to reinforce your immense power. In one the decks, the word Abracadabra appears across the canopy of the Chariot. The word which has been associated with magicians for a long time, literally translates to- "What I have said will be done".

So I'm going to believe in myself again. Believe in the strength of my word and make everything work in my favour.
Abracadabra! :)

I'm Weird

2009-06-29T19:50:00.000+05:30

I sniff my coffee before I drink it.
I walk into poles because I'm so lost half the time.
I think way too much about things that aren't even important.
I barely possess any social skills.
I suck at making conversations with people I don't know.
When I'm in the mood to walk I can walk forever and never get bored.
When I go to really boring family parties, I hide in the Ladies' Room and read books.
I have a thing for burnt food.
I burst into dance without even realizing it.
I randomly burst into songs that are enough to put people off music forever.
After I stare hard enough at the scraped portion of a wall, I can form images in my head.
I use words like Shades and Tubes that don't even exist in the Dictionary.

I'm so weird and I totally love it :)

Finding my Path

2009-06-22T21:13:00.000+05:30

In one of his books, Paulo talks about a Mechanic's relationship with cars. Somehow they always seem to instantly know what the problem is. Thorough knowledge? Definitely. Logic? Certainly. But it takes so much more than just knowledge and logic to identify and solve a problem. It of course, takes intuition.

According to me, your life path is already established. Until and unless you don't find this path, your life will be empty and unfulfilled. You'll be as unsatisfied as an artist working in a bank or a dancer who has been forced to become a housewife.

They say 'Work is Worship'. I'm not quite sure if I agree with that one, but as a die hard fan of Paulo, I'm going to say that every work you do from your heart is a meditation in itself. When you immerse yourself in it completely, you let the Divine Energy of the Universe guide your path. It could be as complicated as constructing a building or as simple as preparing a sandwich.

When I think about the path that I have chosen for myself, I often wonder if I have taken the wrong decision. When it came down to choosing my course after the 12Th, I knew it was either Media or Fashion. I was more inclined to media though, the reason being, intellectual stimulation. There's not a day I have regretted my decision. Infact, I feel it has exceeded my expectations and helped me think in ways I probably never thought I would. But speaking of fulfillment, I feel there's another aspect of my life that continues to be unfulfilled.

As weird as it sounds, fashion is one of those vital elements that makes me, me. It's not just about looking gorgeous and flaunting the latest designer wear. It's an art in itself. An extension of your inner self. A mode of expressing the immense creativity that lies inside of me and waits for an opportunity to mix different items of clothing in order to let magic happen. *Claps at herself for the highly melodramatic description of her love for the F word*

Now getting back to topic of discussion, I tried my hand at writing about fashion a while ago. Of course, it gave me immense satisfaction. For a moment I thought, that working for a fashion magazine would lead me onto this Path. Apparently, even that is not enough. The true Path to Satisfaction lies not only in following what I chosen till the end, but treading on another path as well.

I wanted to be a Designer, but i thought I had said goodbye to that dream a long time ago. may be this just is the time to revive it. :)
Wish me luck!

I'm happy so I'm going to post =)

2009-06-13T19:43:00.001+05:30

Firstly, I want to go give Manju Nichani a big hug for starting college.
I finally have something to do :)
Don't judge me for not having a life losers!

We have a cute professor for Cinema.
When was the last time that ever happened?
And there's one more to go.
Makes up for having to see Dinesh early in the morning.

Thirdly, I love Firangi Paani.
Free Pink Margaritas :D

I love Bandra for being bandra and for having the most amazing stores ever :D
This is probably the first time in my life I've tried just ONE top and actually bought it as opposed to the 25-30 outfits I try in stored like Lifestyle where they have way too much choice.

I love D.
'Coz no matter how hard she tries she can never be me :P

I love S.
For being S again :D

I love R.
She's getting me a hot pink Belly dance belt from Dubai! =D

But you know what I love the most.
I can do the Moon Walk!!!
Gawd I'm amazing :P
I should dance more often
As you can see, it makes me very very high =)

P.S. I love E too (See I wrote it in red) :D

Less is More

2009-05-16T11:44:00.000+05:30

After two very serious blog posts I have decided to lighten up a bit and put up two absolutely pointless ones about theories that I have made up. This ones a theory that deals with male hormones and how a man's level of self-control is dependent on the environment he's been brought up in.

To further illustrate what I am talking about let me give you the example of two countries.

Country 1- Afghanistan

Country 2- France

In country 1, men find pictures of women with bare faces provocative.

In Country 2, it would take a women dressed in barely nothing, to truly be a treat to the male eye.

Men in Country 1, have been brought up in an environment where the only women they see in their childhood include their mothers and their sisters. Besides, it's not exactly a land of 'ayo-technology'. Seeing through those thick burqas is mission impossible. Thus, they are in a perpetual state of deprivation. The sight of a bare ankles, wrists or stray strands of hair is enough to get them to stand before the Mosque and thank god for the beautiful sight they have been able to lay their eyes on.

As for men in Country 2, they've grown up in an environment where women wear the skimpiest of clothes and lie on the beach without giving it a second thought. For them this is absolutely normal and acceptable. When a woman steps out in a pair of shorts, unlike their counterparts in country 2, they would not visually rape her and make her want to run back into the house in search of jacket. Even if they would stare it would be in an appreciative sort of way, rather than accusatory.

Another point to be noted is the availability of sex. For men in country 2, by the time they are teenagers, they are free to get into a relationship, which eventually leads to sex. For men in Country 1, A woman cannot taint her reputation in society by giving up her priced virginity before marriage. Under such circumstances, they resort to raping women, sometimes of their own family. And since they are so high on hormones, they assume every other man is like that. So they insist on having their women covered up from head to toe, lest she becomes an object of desire for the male eye.

Now moving on to our country, the perverts who make you most uncomfortable are the ones who have grown up in an environment of sari-clad women. For men who have grown up in homes where the women have adopted a westernized of dressing, women in jeans and t-shirts are hardly worth staring at. But the minute the t-shirt turns into a tube and jeans turn into minis, these guys have a hard time keeping their eyes off.

Moral of the story : For the general good of the Society, the lesser the women wear the better it is for everyone.

2009-05-14T15:31:00.000+05:30

They say everything in life happens for a reason.
Anger? Betrayal? And a lifetime of Sadness?
Is that ever a justifiable reason for this emotional turmoil?

Sometimes, impact lasts longer than you think.
It changes your view on the world and the way you perceive it.
It leaves you cold, cynical and stone-hearted.
And you find yourself losing faith in people and in relationships.

When people step in to save your world, you believe they will be there forever.
More often than not, you convince yourself that it is the truth, though it may not be.
But when the cynical side of you takes over, you do not see possibilities where there are none.
When you sense a dead end ahead, you don't harbour hopes of a new beginning.

So not letting people in, saves you the trouble of letting them go.
This means that may be everything in life does happen for a reason.
Some people step in, to teach you to let go.

2009-05-14T11:47:00.000+05:30

Life is pretty ironical.

Sometimes you meet people who are so similar to you that it leaves you spellbmound. You automatically expect them to becoe an important part of your life. But no matter how close they get to your heart, they still linger along the periphery, unable to cross the impermeable wall that leads to the inside.

And sometimes you come across people who seem so different that you'd never give them a second look. Yet Destiny, Karma and perhaps a Superior Force somehow brings them into your life. You find opening up, layer by layer until you stand in front of them as the person you truly are only because they somehow managed to permeate through the impermeable wall into the forsaken territory of your heart.

It is in the brief moments you spend with these people that you feel like life wholly and completely makes sense.

Fashion Suicidal

2009-05-07T16:03:00.001+05:30

Madonna trying to look as old as her boyfriend

Blonde Moments 2 (Childhood)

2009-05-07T13:57:00.000+05:30

#1 Everytime I heard the words 'Chand ka Tukda' in hindi songs, I assumed it was the part of the Moon that fell off in the night. Explains why the Moon looked smaller everyday.

#2 When I heard the dialogue- Main tumhe dua deti hoon, I was baffled.
I assumed dua was the same dhua and couldn't quite figure out why someone would want to give smoke to another person!

#3 This incident took place outside Radio Club, which is perpetually flooded with Arabs in all shapes and sizes. I spotted two of them wearing a robe. This was the first time I was seeing men dressed like that, so I was basically, quite scandalised. After I recovered from the shock, I screamed,"Mom, look! Men in nighties!"

iWant!!

2009-05-06T11:15:00.000+05:30

Purple Bag
Candy Green Mary Janes
Floral Wedges
Pink Waist Belt
Emerald green dress with jewels
Pink Patiala
Black kurta to wear with my silver egyptian necklace
A tee in the same shade of green that they wear in street dance.

So much to shop, so little time! *sigh*

The New Look

2009-05-05T17:31:00.000+05:30

My new 'job', if that's how you would like to call it, involves sitting in my dad's office for the next ten days till all the people who are on leave come back. There's very little to do and there's way too much time. Internet is my only source of entertainment. Since, Facebook is source of depression if you waste too much time on it, I have decided to dedicate the next few days religiously blogging about everything and nothing :)

I have also given my blog a bit of a makeover by adding all these boxes(what do you actually call them?) on the side. I'm not really a 'quote' person but that's all I could find. Frankly, Quote for the day and Love Quotes sound extremely lame, but I added them anyway. Then I came across quotes on Hinduism. Since I know so little about my own religion I decided I should add it. After that I thought of a few self-righteous friends I have on facebook, who add applications related to their faith inspite of already being a part of a hundred communities that talk about the same damn thing! And since I didn't want to sound like them, I added Bible and Quran quotes as well. Truth of the matter is that I do respect all religions, so why not learn a little about all?

After that I came across God Knows how many quotes and I guess I got a little carried away. Now I'm starting to think it looks like a terrible mess! So I'm going to let it be for a while until I decide the ones that get to stay and the ones that will have to go. Until then, there's one box that's not going anywhere.And that's One Tree Hill, baby! =D

Summer'08 (Confessions of a Shopaholic)

2009-05-05T16:38:00.000+05:30

Right after I got back form my awesome trip to Chennai, I left for Malaysia. My uncle's a lawyer and practically every year he takes his entire staff for trip. I remember the time my neighbour told me he got a job in Bangalore where his awesome office supplied him with Snickers, Toblerone and the likes everyday. I couldn't help but feel terribly envious. However, when I heard about my Uncles idea of keeping his staff happy, the snickers seemed like a bit of a let down =P .

Since, he was taking his family as well, he asked my brother and I to come along. Give me one good reason why we should have refused?

The best part was that my parents were not coming along. And that meant a summer trip without unnecessary drama and lectures on responsiblity. Also loads of cash and shopping without watching my mum wrinkling her nose and every secong item of clothing I picked up.

Inspite of being with over 25 people, it was almost like travelling alone. On one hand was the entire staff. All of them were too involved in each other anyway. On the other, was the little family. Again involved in each other. And then there was me, my book, my music and my coffee. The road trip was awesome. The weather was terrific. Frankly speaking I don't remember much of the sightseeing we did, but I can tell you this, I fell in love with the shopping!

It sounds a little insane, but every time I look back at that trip I think of those unbelievably big malls. I think about how there was so much to cover and so little time and how I ran like a maniac from one shop to another, just so I could cover everything in that time limit. I remember how everytime I saw the magic word(sale), my eyes would light up and my feet would automatically take me in that direction. The smell of designer perfumes lingering in the air, the designer gown clad manequins, the soft feel of the fabrics, the array of gorgeous colours, the display of outfits that seemed to have walked right out of my dream. I miss every bit of it.
And once again I can do anything to have it back! *sigh*

Summer'08 and why it was awesome

2009-05-05T14:11:00.000+05:30

Summer'08 was the best summer of my life.
Boards were finally over. Freedom was in the air. I adored the feeling of having nothing to do. And the best part was that two trips were right around the corner.
First trip was Chennai. Hardly a city to be excited about. But if you were going there to meet your bestest friend after a year and a half, you'd know the feeling.
So me and my half-cracked friend P sat in an airplane and took off to city of idlis and Kanjivaram sarees to spend 15 days of bliss in S's hot duplex house.
We laughed until we cried, ate until our tummies burst, shopped until we dropped, talked endlessly about the year gone by, danced till we embarrased our selves, got drunk and puked all over the bathroom, watched ridiculous movies, played childish games, made up silly stories to entertain each other and took a hell lot of crazy pictures. We did nothing and still had the best bloody two weeks of our lives.
The prospect of living through another great Summer helped me make it through this year. I knew that once I'd get to see S, and make up for all the lost time, life would make perfect sense. But, I'm starting to think it might not work out this Summer =( .
All I want right now is to have my Summer Sisters back....

Blonde Moments

2009-04-30T18:17:00.000+05:30

I was talking to a friend on the phone. She was sounding pretty low, so as a good friend it was my responsibility to cheer her up. Cracking jokes at her expense, at a time like this? Bad idea! So i thought of making myself the butt of the joke. You guys can go ahead and half a laugh at my expense as well.

Me: I'm going to Bangkok
Swat: Awesome! So where else are you going to in Thailand?
Me: Swat, I'm not going to Thailand, I am going to Bangkok!

The next one is a conversation between me and this Jai Hind hottie, Farhan who I was trying to make small talk with during Blitzkrieg, right after his 'Mock band' performance. In a Mock band performance, the group members just have to pretend to play the instruments and sing. But the bets part was that, they were so damn convincing that I thought they were actually singing.

Me: Dude you sang really well.
Farhan: really when?
me: On stage.
Farhan: California dreams?
Me: ya
Farhan: Oh thanks! But you do know that it was a mock band performance.
Me: (trying to look the other way and start a conversation with someone else because I'm too embarrased to even look at him)

The third one's not really a blonde moment. It involves saying the wrong things at the wrong times.
Happened yesterday when Maithili, I and Sid were walking down Marine Drive.

Sid: Man i find it so cheesy when these couples sit here and start getting cozy.
Me: I swear man! It's worse when Uncles and Aunties do that. I bet they're having an extra-marital affair.
Maith: Why does it have to be extra-marital? They could be a married couple right.
Me:(Very Loudly) Ya but if they were married they wouldn't come here to do stuff! They would do it at home.
(Then 3 aunties walking ahead of us turn and one particularly rude one gives me the dirtiest possible look you can imagine. Seeing this Sid and Maith are taken over by an irresistible urge to laugh and pull me behind the tree where they can laugh without me being scrutinised by that aunty.)
Maith: Why do you have to talk such rubbish so loudly. People get offended.
Me: (even Louder) Oh ya! may be that woman was pissed because what i recited was her life story!

Things you didn't know about my younger self

2009-04-24T17:37:00.000+05:30

• Little Lulu was my sunshine. I cannot tell you how much I loved that show.
• I couldn’t get myself to watch crap like SwatKats. I guess I was always anti-violence.
• I had a Full House phase. Books, shows everything.
• I had a tazo phase. :P
• I had a videogame phase. Tetris! :P
• In kindergarten I was like THE most talkative person. Everytime my mother came for report day, she’d get to hear,” oh! You’re daughter is such a chatterbox!”
• In the fourth grade she had to hear,” she doesn’t talk at all. We’re so worried!”
• In kindergarten everytime my teacher would ask me to distribute crayon boxes, I ran around the glass screaming- Panch rupya! Panch rupya! (man I was a lame kid)
Having my drawing put up on the board was the biggest honour. :P
• Man, I loved art period so much!
• P.E was ‘let’s gossip time!’
• I used to have a boy cut when I was eight.
• I also once wore Harry Potter glasses. (now I should just kill myself)
• My favourite colour was sea blue with a tinge of green.
• I wasn’t allowed to wear heels till I was 12! I hated it!
• I was addicted to Princess Diaries(read: happy endings!)
• I used to have 16 imaginary friends.(don’t judge me!)
• When I was really bored I used to dress up my kiddo brother in dupattas and bindis. He still hasn’t forgiven me for the trauma.

Parinita's Dream -1

2009-04-19T17:54:00.000+05:30

Aditya invites Parinita for his house party. Does he have an ulterior motive? Or was he just trying to be nice? Let's find out.

Parinita enters the house with five absolutely random people from class. She finds his dad(long beard, white cap, et all) doing namaz on the ground and he's not even a Muslim. In the meantime, Aditya just lies like a potato on his bed, far away in the land of dreams where girls actually find him hot.

So the five of them sit around the house trying to kill time playing games, talking and arguing, while out of nowhere the sleeping Aditya rises, stealthily walks into the room with a lit matchstick in his hand and sets Parinita's hair on fire.

(ok, it may not be funny to most of you, but Aditya described this dream to me 2mins before the Pol Sci. paper when thanks to Deepti I was getting unnecessarily paranoid about forgettting stuff, and throughout the paper I'd get the irrestible urge to burst out laughing everytime I thought about it. And you know what happens when you suppress your laughter, it multiplies in the tummy and wants to come out even louder)

Why you shouldn't swim in the Summers...

2009-04-14T22:57:00.000+05:30

I finally got off my lazy ass and went for a swim. I was feeling pretty smug about until I reached there I saw the pool crowded with stoopid, annoying little brats who have nothing else to do this summer.

While the decent, well mannered kids lounge in their Donald Duck floats, the rowdy, ill-mannered ones find it impossible to stay passive. So they will splish and splash and make it a point to swim right in front of your face every time you make a beeline for the deep side.

And if you’re hoping to seek refuge in the deep side of the pool, statutory warning my friend, the kids have a new found fascination to jumping into the deep side. Just when I put your foot on the stairs, took a deep breath and thanked your lucky stars for the lack of annoying brats, one of them jumped right into the pool from behind me before I even get a chance to shield my eyes. And if you think that is bad enough, an army of brats followed the leader and I cursed myself for bothering to come.

Then I give up trying to swim and make my way to the ladies room. It’s been the same Ladies Room ever since I’ve been a member here, why does it feel different? Because I see male brats prancing around naked with their towels tied around their necks like capes, while they make all sorts of whooshing sounds. As for me, I’m quite traumatized at the display of flesh all around me.

To make up for the highly depressing events of the day I indulge in a big paneer roll and some fancy chocolate pie from the new Bakery.
So much for a swim. *sigh*

Journey to a new beginning

2009-04-14T14:13:00.000+05:30

It seems like forever since I have blogged.
First it was study leave, then exams, then hols. The excuses are endless.
Reason number 2 - Spending free time writing for CJ *sigh*
Reason number 3 - Topic. I think I need to stop waiting for a topic. It's my blog! I can be as random as I want!
So from now on whether I'm suffering from writer's block or I'm pissed off with my maid for the lack of salt in my food or I'm just extra-happy about a new pair of earrings, I'm going to blog :D

So let's talk about how summer has been so far.
The thing with me is I hate having nothing to do. As funny as it sounds, it depresses me! My mind feels empty and useless. So if it's not projects or exams I feel like I need to find something else to keep my mind occupied.
I was so enthusiastic about starting out on my own. But the excitement has died down. Though I hold onto to my previous idea, I think I am going to delay it for the later part of these vacations.

Internship... Frankly I don't know and as of now I don't care.
Reason being that I'm too occupied with Belly Dance Institute right now. It's amazing how something that is so small suddenly starts playing such a major role in your life. I remember always being fascinated by Shakira's moves and trying to imitate them. The fact that they were no institutes teaching this art was quite disappointing. An article came in the papers once and I remember wondering, why they never put down the numbers of the teachers they have interviewed for the article, reading it over and over again to make sure I didn't miss it.

I remember the how they once held the course for 2-days at Befit Zone and I was absolutely disappointed because I couldn't make it. Then R(My Teacher) somehow came into the picture.I ended up joining the course after so much convincing that it almost didn't feel like it was worth it. Now when I look back, I can't believe I even had second thoughts about it. The dance was refuge into another world. The movements connected with my soul. And when I was there, everything felt perfect.

What added to the experience was the bond I shared with R(My teacher) and the others. After a point the student-teacher barrier had almost disappeared. I remember how R always talked about us being her favourite batch and how she has never been this close to any of her students. I guess that explains the little party she kept for all of us after the last class.

When I joined that class I never thought I'd have so much fun that I'd eagerly look forward to the next time we have a batch together and refuse to commence a class until all the old people were a part of it. Now that we're going to start level 4 soon, frankly speaking I can hardly wait :)

But what truly surprises me is the bond I have formed with R. When she asked me if I'd like to be a trainer with her this summer I was beyond happy. Since I had nothing to do anyway, I offered to help her with the phone calls and the other little work as well. Then she confessed to me how stressed she gets during this entire process and how she'd love to have a helping hand.And somehow I just got involved in so much more than I expected. Now I feel as much a part of the institute as she is, so I want to do my best to make it easier for her and help her reach her target.

AS for those of you reading this post, if Belly Dance fascinates you and you want the art to seduce you as well, let me know. We have batches starting this April and we'd love to have you with us.

An Army of Ideas

2009-03-26T21:53:00.000+05:30

I’m not sure if was the creative energies floating around in the library, the very fattening but nonetheless delicious potato and cheese sandwich I had, the free red bull they gave me outside college or the fact that absolutely anything in this world is better than reading ‘Cry, my beloved country!’, but I went a little insane yesterday. Actually insane is quite an understatement. I was almost possessed. My brain was under attack. Under the attack of an army of the most unbelievable ideas. And the numbers…Good Lord! I’d faint if I’d even try to count them.

Usually when absurd ideas attack my mind, they make it a point to gain domain over the entire territory until they are sole rulers of my mind. Having enslaved me, they make sure that I can’t possibly focus on anything else in this world. And once they succeed in this mission of theirs, they make me so unbelievable jumpy and restless, that everything else is down the drain. So I bid farewell to ‘Cry my beloved country’ and made it my sole mission to disturb the other two who were sitting with me in that library on the pretext of ‘studying’, until they were so captivated by my thoughts that they abandoned their books as well.

Honestly speaking, I shouldn’t be given the sole responsibility of destroying the ‘studying’ atmosphere. It wasn’t I who started it. I think it was K’s very random comment. Or was it M? God knows. But as soon as it entered my mind its like my life has found a purpose! I know it’s kind of crazy to say it’s my purpose because life’s purpose goes much beyond that. But I’m only 18 and it’s the perfect thing for me to focus my creative energies on right now. As for ‘life’s purpose’ I have 50 odd years to figure that out. =P

I always use ‘it’s been my childhood dream’ in that sarcastic sense, when someone asks me to do something I would never want to. For the first time I’m actually going to use this term in a ‘non-sarcastic sense’. In a weird sort of way it actually is a silly childhood dream. After I took up BMM, I knew I had said goodbye to this little dream of mine forever. But now I think it’s going to find its way back into my life. And I’m extremely happy about it.

I love how I am extremely optimistic and believe that there is no light at the end of the tunnel because it is night and sun hasn’t risen yet. But when it comes to such things, being practical is far more sensible. I must prepare myself that something that has awoken such strong emotions in me today could prove to be possibly the stupidest and most unfeasible idea tomorrow. It could absolutely de-motivate me. If I take it too seriously, it could leave me broken.

So I’m just going to keep my fingers cross and hope that the unborn baby will soon turn into a full grown child. =D

iDespise (part 2)

2009-02-26T16:22:00.000+05:30

Phone bills! Why can't we just talk for free?
People who wear sunglasses in the dark!
Self Righteous Bitches!
Stoopid men who force their women to wear burkhas, while they visually rape every other woman who walks past them!
Dirty men who stare at you on the road even when you are wearing kurtas!
Shah Rukh Khan
The fact that sex and SRK sells.
Aishwariya Plastic Rai
50 cent Lyrics!
Facebook mails flooding my Inbox!
People who litter their own city!
Men who pee on the road!

iLike (Part 2)

2009-02-26T15:54:00.000+05:30

The smell of new clothes (believe me they have a smell!)
Rajat Kapoor :D ( And no he's not an old fart!)
Black and white clothes with bright red accessories!
Gifts :D (giving and receiving)
Getting nostalgic
Sipping Pink Margaritas (Esp when they're free :P )
Choco latte
Blogging!
Arguing for no reason (typical Libran Characteristic)
And lastly making stoopid lists such as this one :P

'Say Cheese'

2009-02-24T15:13:00.000+05:30

Clicking pictures for Facebook is no longer a fun activity.
Infact it is a disease.
You must be nicely dressed all the time with proper hair, make -up, etc.
You never know when someone decides to go Clickity- click.
You don't want everyone to see how you actually look, now do you?
And if you have no where to go, where people might take pictures of you, specifically for the purpose of putting them up on Facebook, please call all your friends and try to make some plan.
That way you will have an event to capture on camera and share with stalkers of this world.
And no one will think of you as a loser. Promise :)

At first I used to think this disease is affecting only the female population.
But knowing how vain they are... I wasn't all that surprised.
It started off with Birthday pictures, then Saturday night pictures followed by random College Events.
Till then it was perfectly okay.
However, uploading albums then became such an obsession that people started clicking pictures everywhere!
Limits were crossed when albums by the name - Waking up in the morning, Brushing my Gorgeous teeth, Making my Scrumptious Breakfast and My very own Designer Bathroom started being shared with random people.

So the boys refused to be left behind.
In their race to 'make frienship' with 'lovelee' girls on Facebook, they started taking pictures of themselves everywhere as well.
Every single time I go to marine Drive, I see atleast 3 to 4 such 'hunks' posing and asking fellow hunks to take pictures of them on the rocks , with the background of the sea or else against their very cool bikes.

Now all that I'm going to grudgingly accept. But parents joining Facebook and then falling prey to this disease?! No, no. This is one thing I am not willing to accept!

Two days ago I thought my eyes were betraying me when I saw 'Z is now friends with Uncle Z'.
As if that wasn't bad enough, today I see pictures of Uncle Z in the office, shaking hands with random business clients.

Two days on Facebook and the disease has caught up with Uncle Z already?
What is happening to this world?
How do we make this stop?!

Things I will never understand in life

2009-02-23T13:53:00.000+05:30

Why is it that every time you do a good thing, people assume you have an ulterior motive?
Why is that women have to change their surname after marriage, but not men?
Why is that people have 15 functions before the actual wedding, which is then followed by fifteen other functions?
How can people find Ranbir Kapoor (who looks totally doped) and Abhishek Bachchan(taxi driver!) hot?!
How can the entire nation love Shahrukh Khan?????!!!!!
How can the Chinese cockroaches? That too dipped in chocolate!!
Why are the Indians obsessed with having a fair skin, while the phirangs will do anything then can to get a tan?
Who the hell said cream is colour?!
How can people spend close to a lakh on a stoopid handbag?
How do really ugly guys manage to get hot girls, when it never happens the other way around?
How can the entire country put everything on hold to watch an absoultely pointless game of cricket?
And lastly, better the food, higher the calories! Why? Why? Why?

iHATE!

2009-02-18T21:07:00.000+05:30

I'm feeling really really negative today...so here's a blog about the things I hate about my life~!

I hate being lectured about how irresponsible I am and how my room is always in a mess!
I hate being the mess that I am!
I hate how I'm so unfocused right now!
I hate how I should be serious about my project and I really don't give a f**k
I hate how I don't know where my life is going.
I hate how my best friends move away!
I hate how I can't take the next flight to go see them!
I hate how I keep trying to find an incentive to go to college but I can't
I hate how I don't write in my diary anymore!
I hate how my articles are supposedly not college related!
I hate how CJ wont fucking pay!
I hate the fact that I started writing only so that I could have enough money to fund a course I want to take, when I could have found i better way of earning it!
I hate how I have to share my room with someone I can't stand!
I hate being lectured about how I have no social skills and I don't talk to relatives at parties.
I hate being lectured about how I sleep late everyday!
I hate having to change the bed covers everyday!

So much to hate ! so little time! sigh

Weirdly Unnattached...

2009-02-17T20:55:00.000+05:30

Slowly and steadily as I'm getting to know more people in this class, I'm starting to realise how most of them are highly disappointed with the way things have turned out to be after they have joined this college.
A big group of really close friends, a class full of people you look forward to seeing everyday and days of endless fun. These were a few things that topped their expectations list. Sadly they haven't managed to experience most of these things. They have however been fortunate enough to experience, being a part of a group of friends who don't care about them, a class full of people they can't stand and days of endless group projects (antonym for fun)!

I think there are mainly two types of people in this class. Those who have made it and those who haven't. When I say those who have made it, I'm talking about the over friendly extroverts who had a strategy from day one. It was, find birds of the same feather and flock together. And the well executed plan got them friends within days. Two weeks down the line, they had their very own group. A group that most people were envious of.

Moving onto the second category. They consist of the shy introverted types, who wanted to be somebody, but never got a chance to. Firstly, wrong plan of action! Secondly, they were just not able to make their presence felt. As a result, the road to having a social life has been quite rough. A lot of them have been jumping from one social circle to another. Those who have stuck to one, don't seem very happy either.

Going back to those who have made it. They certainly look very happy. But sometimes, behind those happy faces, I sense a bit of weariness. I say weariness because I get this feeling that they are tired of these pretences. I mean, how long can a person stick to same group of people, who have nothing more in common with you, than the fact that they have been able to make their presence felt? How long can you pretend to be interested in their lives when you frankly don't give a damn? How many hours can you spend with same set of people, without wanting to kill yourself ?

Apart from that, there are also rules and regulations . There's a certain code of conduct that needs to be followed. You have to go against your principles for the sake of the 'group'. And according to me, the worst is having to be nice to people you really, really dont want to be nice to.

So the truth is NOBODY is actually happy. A lot of them are just wearing a mask. If they take that mask off they're just as miserable as those who haven't made it.

Then there's a third category. That's me. I didn't want to become a part of BMM, so I could have the coolest friends in college, or the best looking guys in my class, or the most fashionable girls to hang out with. I joined this course because I like this course, and I can't imagine myself doing anything else.

So, while people do matter,they are not on my priority list. I'm not saying I don't want to make close friends. I do. Infact I miss having the kind of friends I bring home everyday so we can lie like potataoes on my couch and watch TV. The kind of friends you don't forget as soon as you get home because you talk to them every single day irrespective of whether you have anything important to share with them or not. The kind of friends who know every detail about your life no matter how small or insignificant.

But frankly speaking, two years in Jai Hind taught me enough about group hopping and having random friends. Some people might like sitting in a Mocha with a new gang of friends everyday, but after a point I got sick of it. The Summer after taught me how only few of those friends you make in college actually stay. So what is the point of having a big group or even feeling miserable about not being a part of one?One day, they are all going to go away anyway. So as long as you have a few decent people to hang out with while trapped in that classroom, I don't see why anybody should be grumbling.

Bottomline is at the end of this course, if you have ONE close friend to take back with you, you should consider yourself lucky. I know I will!

Valentine

2009-02-16T14:33:00.000+05:30

My Valentine wasn't about roses, diamonds and pretty dresses.
It wasn't about wine, champagne and fancy meals.
It wasn't even about love letters and sweet nothings.

For me it was more of a Movie-thon Day. I sat at home all day and watched movies. All I wanted to watch was Nanny Diaries which was at 8 in the night. So i grabbed the remote at 1 p.m. itself. A little early na? But prevention is better than cure. I knew for a fact that if that Loser (read: my brother) got his hands on it first, I'd have to spend the entire day moping over my bad luck in another room.

And then guess which movie I get to watch? Because I Said So!! :D :D :D
After months and months of begging god- knows- who- all to download it for me AND annoying innumerable DVD guys in Colaba to order it somehow!

Fortunately for me it turned out to be a nice movie. Precisely because the romance didn't make me want to strangle the actors or throw tomatoes at them. It didn't give you that feeling of having seen this scene in a hundred other chick- flicks before. Even the story was different. Not very. But hey, it's a chick-flick at the end of the day right? There's a girl and two guys. An annoying, interfering mother. Sweet, supporting sisters. And obviously a happy ending where the girl and boy kiss and make up :P .

Then you know how the TV is. It's got these powers. Once you sit in front of it, it's hard to move. So I start flipping channels and I come across Kal Ho Na Ho.

OK, not the coolest movies to watch. But hey I love K-Jo ok. And so what if the movie is shown 3 times every week. The jokes are still funny. In the first half atleast. So that's precisely where I watched it till. And then I managed to extricate myself from the overpowering television set , vowing to return at 8 p.m. sharp.

God knows what happened at 8. The TV was blocked I was too lazy to fight for it and too restless to sit through another movie. So no Nanny Diaries for me :( .

But then, at 11, the seductress beckoned again. There I was, sitting ardently in front of her. Guess which movie it was this time? Dostana! More pointless rubbish for the day. I was hooked.
Agreed it's a funny movie. The 'Beedi Jalayle' the 'John and Abhishek meeting in Venice' scenes are hilarious, but you know which scene wins hands down? The scene in which John tells them that he has got everything in life because he has them. That scene is so touching.

And I completely agree with him on this one. I believe it is the people in your life that make it worth living. And there is nothing better in this world than living with your best friends.
I'm not saying that I don't want to get married. I want to. Definitely. Have a husband who adores me and a happy family. But there is so much to do before you finally decide to get married and spend the rest of your life with that one person. And living with your best friends is one of them. And now that's what I call my happy family :D.

So for the Valentine after my graduation I do want my fancy meal with wine and champagne with someone I absolutely adore, but at the same time I want an awesome apartment, somewhere far far away where there are no rules and regulations governing your life. Where every single is a party and I find it impossible to decide if today is better than yesterday!

P.S. I'm not cute. I'm Muhammad Ali!

Remember this line? :P

iLike

2009-02-05T16:15:00.000+05:30

Bright pink
Bright red
Bright Candy Colours in general (the more the better)
Girly dresses and high heels
Long bitchy nails :P
Mint 'n' chocolate chip
Dark chocolate
My new amber chandelier
And my princess bed ( which has no curtains as yet)!
Staying up late for no reason
Glitter
Soft curls
Guys in black shirts ;)
Eating out
Catching up
Long walks
Old churches
Old buildings with high ceilings and crystal chandeliers
Marine Drive
Marine Drive Bhel :P
Arguing for no reason
Sarcastic comments :P
Emoticons
Big hugs !

iDespise

2009-02-05T16:05:00.000+05:30

Dull colours
Bell bottoms
Ill -fitted clothes
Bland food
Plastics! (remember anti-plastic society)
Fake hugs!
Having to sleep early and wake up early
Family gatherings
People who need a cab to take the from college to Mocha/ Station
People with no consideration for the environment
Male Chauvinist Pigs!!!!
My unwaxed hands :P
People who talk too much when i'm daydreaming *sigh*

Sometimes......

2009-02-01T23:58:00.000+05:30

Sometimes, you don't intend for it to happen, but it just does.
Sometimes, you are too engrossed in your life and you don't seem to realise when it happens.
Sometimes, it's better to not have certain people in your life and you are more than willing to let go off them.
Sometimes, you know it's your fault and it's better to let go, than to hurt them.
Sometimes, you can't help the fact that you just don't care anymore.
Sometimes, you can't help the fact that people don't care about you anymore and there is nothing you can do to make them stay.

What do you do when you know they still care? And no matter what you do you can't stop caring either.
Things however refuse to go back to being how they used to. Fact is, they never might go back to being the way they used to.
People walk in and out of your life all the the time. You walk in and out of peoples' life all the time. It is one of the most natural things in life. So why does it seem so unnatural this time?
Why does it feel like no matter what I do, I may never be able to ease the pain completely or fill that empty space inside of me.....

Confrontations.....

2009-01-21T21:53:00.000+05:30

Like I said earlier, I avoid confrontation because I feel that if people are insensitive enough to do what they did, there is absolutely no point in trying to explain their mistake to them. Unlike you, they do not think of it is unethical. That's the reason they did it in the first place.

When I sent that mail. I wasn't sure what to expect. I've always thought of him as an insensitive person. So while I was sure he'd say sorry, I wasn't sure if he would mean it. At the same time, I wasn't sure he'd be willing to change.

His reply took me by surprise. Not only did he apologise, but he said the most genuine sorry he ever has. He said he wants to change; and not just because I told him to! And he accepted every mistake he's made, without making any excuses! The best part is that he promised things would be better from now on...

And I did see the change in him. Too bad it lasted for only a day. I know he wants to make things 'normal' again. I also know that I do mean a lot to him. As of now atleast. But why is he always so demotivated?! Why is that the effect of my words never last more than a day?!

You know I'm so tired of this drama. It keeps repeating itself day after day. I'm tired of making him realise his mistakes and watch him go back to doing the same things. Right now all I want to do is give up on him and forget he ever existed! But the truth is, I don't know if I'd be able to survive myself......

New Year Resolution

2009-01-16T13:50:00.000+05:30

I don't know why I am the way I am. I don't know why I do the things I do.

I didn't make any resolutions in the beginning of this year. However, a few days ago I decided there is a resolution I need to make- I need to stop keeping things to myself all the time!

Whenever someone close to me, angers me or hurts me I refrain from giving them a piece of mind. I feel that if the person isn't smart enough to realise it on his own then there is no point in trying to explain to him anyway. Besides, I hate confronting people and I hate being the whiney girl who is constantly complaining about something or the other.

I either use silent treatment to make the person realise his mistake or I just pretend like nothing has happened. At the same time I show no signs of how their words or actions are killing me on the inside.

Recently I realised how all the unshared information was building up inside me. It was becoming too much for me to bear. I also felt that the people who should have realised and changed by now havn't changed in the least continue to hurt me and anger me in the same way they used to.

When Q persisted I give him a reason for what I did, I kept avoiding it in the beginning. But last night I thought to myself, if there is a person who deserves know more than anybody else, how hurt I am, it is Q.

I couldn't tell him face to face. I couldn't even do it over the phone. So I decided to send him a long mail. I told everything, without missing out on any of the details.

I don't know if he's read it yet. It's the first time I've really opened my heart out without caring about how stupid I sound. It just feels so weird becuse I have revealed a part of myself that I have been hiding for so long. I finally let out all the emotions I've never let out before.

A part of me feels relieved. I made resolution and I followed it. However, I can't help feeling a teensy bit stupid and really, really anxious at the same time. I don't know if I've done the right thing. I know for a fact that I'd regret both ways. Now I'm just hoping everything turns out to be fine....
Till them I'm going to try not to think about it!

Perfection redefined

2009-01-15T19:30:00.000+05:30

I should start off by thanking N. Had I not owed her money, I would have just gone home. But I had to wait there and wither time away until she got free. While I was at it, I bumped into P and Q. Thanks to PQ I got late and ended up meeting N almost 20 minutes late.
Just as I was about to leave for home Z called me and said she really wanted to see me. Well since I was already in the same area as her we met up at a coffee shop. Just as I was about to leave J called me. He was coming to this area so that he could take his book back.
Lazy J never ended up coming there. So I had to go to where J was and return the book to him. The original plan was to meet J the day before. Thanks to M, it never happen.
So while I was with J, he messaged T to tell him I was with him. T in turn thought it was a damn good idea to drop by. At first when J told me that, I thought I didn't hear him correctly. When it finally registered , my first reaction was to turn and run towards the door and keep running until I'm in a safe zone far, far away. But J obviously didn't let me do that. So I have to give J the biggest credit in this master plan. Firstly, he told T he was with me and secondly he imprisoned me so I wouldn't run away. Thanks to him I met T. That's right I finally met T again!!!
In the beginning, I thought it would be really awkward . But all it took was one hug and all the weirdness melted away. We went back to being the way we used to be.
You know what was the best part about meeting T. Everything has changed since then, yet everything felt just the same once again =) .

Vogue India!!!!!

2009-01-12T12:54:00.000+05:30

Well, you know how I love skipping class so I can lie around at home with a book or go shopping. I'm not going to do that anymore. Infact, I'm not going to do that for as long as I live. I'm going to come to college every single day even if they keep a lecture at 6 a.m. And do you know why? Because today Vogue frickin India came to college! And if I hadn't come to college I never would have known!

They're having a contest wherein you write about yourself, current fashion trends and your favourite designer and send it in. The person who wins gets a cash price of 30,000 AND a SIX WEEK INTERNSHIP with Vogue India!!!!!!! An oppurtunity I could kill a million people into a million pieces for.

Imagine going for work everyday in a sexy pencil skirt and pencil heels. Imagine going to a work place where it is one hundred percent acceptable to show off your pink, yellow, green and other candy coloured peep toes. Infact showing off your whacky closet is pretty much a requirement. Every girl's dream right?!

I'm not quite sure I'll make it. Though my fashion IQ is pretty much unbeatable (hehe) , I'm sure they'll find better writers. But hey I can atleast dream right? And may be even make a list of all the different types of shoes I need to buy if I win it =D

My first film!

2009-01-09T18:45:00.000+05:30

I see people involving themselves with PETA, Bati Band, CRY and the likes. I don't really know how people levitate towards a certain cause and why they are more passionate about the ones they pick. All I know is that I'm very sensitive about issues concerning 'women' and if there is a cause for me, it is this!

I remember reading about female infanticide when I was little and I had tears in my eyes. At the same time when I read about people being killed and places being bombed, I did feel terrible. Just not enough to cry. Even the little things I heard like girls not being allowed to work after marriage affected me to a great extent. I know there are larger issues in this world than female infanticide, dowry, domestic violence and opression in general, but this is my cause and will continue to be.

So when we had to make a film for college, I didn't really have to think much about what I wanted it to be. Most of the people formed a story around the poem they selected. I already had my story in mind. All I had to was find the right poem. And guess what? I did. The only thing that remained was moulding the story around the poem. And that didn't take too much time either.

I'm not saying the film is amazing. Infact I would say it's mediocre. Even my acting is pretty average. But I made a film on something I am extremely passionate about and that is enough to make me happy ! =)

P.s. Looks like the innumerable books I've read on tortured middle-eastern women finally paid off ;) !

Things to do in 2009 -

2008-12-30T20:55:00.000+05:30

Learn tarot professionally :)
Learn cooking (mainly fancy desserts)
Learn driving!!! (I've waited all my life for this and now that I'm 18 i don't give a f**k)
Learn Reiki
Learn Belly Dancing (higher levels)
Learn to wake up for morning lectures :)
Learn to take a bath in less that 30 minutes :)
Learn to keep my room clean (hahahahah yea right!)
Learn to be more organised and focussed (Ok you can stop laughing now)
Scream at my brother less (You are on the floor now aren't you !)

Friends Forever?

2008-12-20T22:35:00.000+05:30

To most of you getting your heart broken in love is probably one of the worst experiences in life. It is the exit of someone who meant a lot to you. And once you've made place for someone in your heart and your life, letting go of them is probably one of the most difficult things; and you find your happily ever after turning into a happily never after.

But according to me, they are not the only relationships that break you when they fall apart. What about your friends? Is it really possible to say good-bye to them? Is it really possible to accept that they are not a part of your life anymore? According to me, losing them hurts just as much, if not more. And you know what hurts even more than that? When it's not your friend but your best friends involved.

You know what is stupid about girls like me? Apparently, 'happily ever after' is not the only mistaken belief we hold onto. There is also 'best friends forever'. And you know hat happens when we make friends with those who dont believe in the same principle as you? That's right. You get your fragile little heart broken.

So that my friends is the story of my life. These friends I talk about were so close to me that I couldn't even imagine life without them. I couldn't imagine getting through half day without talking to them. I couldn't imagine that that there would be a day when they'll have no idea about what is going on in my life. And while I had them, I believed that no force in the world could take them away from me.

When I look back I can hardly believe the kind of faith I had in my friendship. The truth is I barely know anything about their lives anymore. And what's worse is I don't know the persons they have turned into. When I look at them, I crave to see glimpses of who they used to be. And I manage to dissapoint myself every single time.

They say- what doesn't break you makes you stronger. Well I know that it has affected me deeply and made me feel more helpness and miserable that I ever have. But at the same time it has made me realise that so may be all friends are not going to be there forever. I still love them a lot and will always be there for them when they need me. Till then I'm going to stop making place in my heart for those who don't have place in their heart for me :) .

Prayers

2008-12-11T22:02:00.000+05:30

None of us know for sure if God really exists, but we still pray. I guess at some level we just want to believe that there is somebody out there who is listening to us when the rest of the world has turned it's backs on us. It is this belief that keeps us going. Then there is also the saying faith and hope are an essential part of a prayer.
So that is just what I do. I hope that I get what I'm praying for and have faith in the fact that I'm going to get it. I'm not a very religious person. I barely ever go to the temple. I don't chant any mantras. And I certainly don't believe in made up prayers because i feel that every time you pray, your soul is seeking communion with God. And you cannot dictate the soul the soul to say a few lines that you have conned by rote.
So everytime I open up my heart and soul to the divine energy, and let them express their truest desires, I believe, with every fibre in my body that my prayers have been heard and they will soon be answered. I know that what I'm asking for is not unrealistic. It's something that I need at the moment, more than anything in this world. But after repeating the same unanswered prayers over and over again, I'm starting to feel like I'm fighting a losing battle. I'm staring to feel like a complete failure. It is destroying the one thing I'm desparately trying to hold onto...faith.
When the only one you have turns his back on you, something inside you just falls apart. Now I feel like I'm afraid of praying again for the one thing my soul truely desires. I'm afraid if I dont get it this time it might destroy the remaining bits of faith that I have. And I really do not want that to happen. I do not want to stop believing in God. I do not want to stop believing that there is somebody out there who can make everything alright. So I'm going to do the one thing I find most appropriate, I'm just going to stop praying.

Soulmates

2008-12-09T16:11:00.000+05:30

According to Paulo, soulmates are not decided by us. Our bond with them is timeless. The bond has existed in our previous lifetimes and will continue to exist in the future ones. You will be able to recognise them by a special light above their left shoulders or in their eyes. And once you do, you will be united together once again by the ultimate bond of love. Life will find a new meaning.

According to F, soulmates are simply your mates from previous lives and the world in between those two lives. This means that friends and relatives we are close to or share a special bond with are soulmates as well. Then there is a twin soul. A twin soul is one that has branched out from your own soul in order to help you fulfill more karma in this lifetime. When I asked him if people usually end up with their twin souls, he just laughed and said worldly relations have no meaning in the spirit world. Finding someone in this life could be something that is predecided. However it could also be something that happens by chance. To be attracted to a person it's not necesarry to have known from another life or the spirit world.

And pooofff! After listening to him I felt like every romantic idea that I have embraced for so long was now being washed down the drain. The reason I love reading Paulo is that he takes you away from this world and helps you escape into a romantic world of your own. And for someone like me who loves escaping into a dream world, nothing could be better.
Apart from being romantic, the idea of having a predecided soulmate takes a certain pressure off you. Very often we are confused about our relationships. We wonder if we have taken the right decision. If there is someone better out there. If we've been to hasty. But knowing that this was meant to happen and there is nothing you can do to change it, helps ease the pain you are suffering.
At the same time, believing that destiny is responsible for the events in your life means that you will never take charge of your life. You will keep believing that whatever is happening is supposed and you will do nothing to change it eventhough it very much is in your hand. At the same time there are chances you will turn your back on a relationship that is really meant to be simply because you are unable to see a light above their shoulders!
So as much as I'd like to believe that there is someone who has been sne t down this earth specially for me, I'm going to be a little more practical and I'm going to keep my eyes a little more open. But hey that really doesn't mean I have to stop looking for the light, does it ? ;)